Staff changes

Well, here's a turnup for the books - the Empress of Production is resigning. She finishes in February. Which means that her husband, the Consort Royale, is almost certainly also leaving. I most sincerely wish them both the best of luck in their new venture, whatever it turns out to be.

When did she resign? Yesterday. When did I find out? Last night. How did I find out? The Office Gossip was handed that particular piece of news by Mr Big, and as soon as he was out of Mr Big's reach he reacted as he normally does when handed a juicy piece of gossip - he passed it on to Little Miss QC, who dutifully told Magicke, who equally promptly passed it on to me.

The Grand Visier has told me in the past that she doesn't really want the role of Empress, but unless Mr Big and his Heir Apparent (aka his daughter) can find a suitable replacement (not a sure thing - trying to get experienced and qualified people to come to Canberra is incredibly difficult, for all sorts of reasons), then the Grand Visier may find herself as Acting Empress.

New nicknames, god help me.

A couple of the company's very senior members, who only appear here a couple of times a year (on average), have earned themselves their nicknames. Little Miss QC was responsible for these: "They're like Jay and Silent Bob, only it's Silent Jay and Bob." It's a very apt description of the two of them (and no, I'm not saying why). So Silent Jay and Bob they are. God help me.

Industry standards

Now don't get me wrong - I think industry standards have their place. But I also think they are a crutch, something that people lean on even when they don't have a broken leg.

If a company doesn't have staff dedicated to document control, then they need to be applying industry standards to documentation, simply because they haven't got that much time to be worrying about it. But I, as a staff member who is dedicated to document control, I find people insisting mindlessly on applying industry standards to documentation is a pain in the butt.

Our latest Validations Manager keeps telling me about things that he's expecting to see in our documentation - things that I haven't put in because I think they are completely irrelevant to somebody who has two functioning brain cells to rub together. Like a table of contents.

Now, a table of contents is useful in some documents - all of our batch documents have them, as does our documentation for packaging. It would be impossible to find your way around the documents in question without them.

I do not believe, however, that a table of contents is necessary in a three page document which tells you how to clean and mop work areas. It's pointless. The document contains a simple set of instructions. It is not difficult to find your way around the document. You flip one page, and you have found the bit you need. You do not need a table of contents on such a document.

Some of our other documents may well get tables of contents next time they are reviewed. But not all of them. And our esteemed Validations Manager is going to have to stop carrying on about bloody industry standards in documentation if he wants me to cooperate. Honestly, he's like Darth Chaos was when she started here - always carrying on about how he can't cope with things because they aren't exactly the same as they were in his last place of employment. Am I going to have to go through this every single time we get more quality staff?

At last!

I was starting to wonder if Darth Chaos was feeling alright - it's been weeks and weeks since she last told me off for being messy, or swearing, or anything, even though we've got a couple of very senior types visiting from the USA tomorrow, and my desk has been as messy as anything.

But the situation has been corrected now. I swore at the shredder for being an uncooperative so-and-so, and she told me off for swearing. I, of course, ignored her.

Perhaps it's the rebelliousness I never got the opportunity to express as a teenager coming out, but I feel much better now.