Conflicting stories

I'm hearing conflicting stories (well - sort of) about my documentation. One comes from the Office Gossip, who told me that he'd heard that the Overlords of Regulatory Darkness thought we had good documentation, but had noticed a rift between Production and Quality. The other comes from Majicke, who heard that the aforementioned Overlords were going to crack down on our documentation the next time they audit us.

Which is true? Well, to be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if both tales were true. The documentation is good. But much of it (and mostly the simpler stuff, like chemical specifications and whatnot) is out of date.

The interesting thing is that both tales came out of the same social do, which raises an interesting point about the way different people hear different things coming out of the one conversation. Not that I'm going to devote any more space to that here. I'm more concerned about that backlog I mentioned above.

I'd rather like everybody to know about the Overlords cracking down on documentation - it might just make people stop shoving the documents to one side just because they've got a full load of things to do without it, and actually organise their time better so that it bloody well gets DONE!

Something's Up

Okay. We've got Shutdown coming. (Yeah. Still. It may even happen according to the date I got today. But I'll believe it when I see it.) Fine. But the names on the licence for Hotel California need to be changed so that Majicke and the lady currently known as the Grand Visier are mentioned on it. So why has Quality been told to hold off on getting that changed...? I smell a rat. What's going on...?

Deadlines

I am in the enviable position of having a moving deadline. I have been told by my Jedi Master that I need to get the documentation system sorted out (ie all properly within its review period) by the end of Shutdown. I nearly had a heart attack when he first told me this, but since then I'm seeing the up-side.

The rest of the company, for example, now has no excuse to put off doing their documents.

The thing that really makes it enviable, though, is that Shutdown keeps getting moved back. Every week, it seems, the date has been pushed back. Which means that I have been given a deadline which is constantly running away from me.

It can't continue. Really it can't. Sooner or later, either Shutdown will actually happen, or my Jedi Master will get fed up with it all, decide he wants his audit report closed out, and insist on a firmer target.

More nicknames

A nickname for my workplace has presented itself to me.

During our morning tea break, we discovered that yet another of our temps has been made permanent. She was one of four people in the room at that particular moment who had started as a temp.

In fact, Magicke came here for a few weeks' work experience, and was permanently employed before she knew it.

Therefore, my workplace shall forever be known here as the Hotel California, because you can check out any time of year, but you can never, never leave...

lol.

For fear

There is something about an internal audit - especially when you know that the Overlords of Regulatory Darkness are going to be auditing you later in the year - that makes managers realise that perhaps they should stop procrastinating about those outstanding documents you've been trying to get them to do for ages. I've managed to get three separate 'must have' documents signed off in the past week - documents that have been shoved aside with comments of 'things will be changing soon' and 'I don't really have time for this now.' (Yes, Magicke, I am looking at you over that second excuse. Darth Chaos favours the first one.)

As a mere peon, the only threat I can make towards procrastinating managers is the one about the consequences of not having 'must have' documents in place when the Overlords arrive to check up on us.

All I have to do now is remind myself of the satisfaction I shall feel when I get the last of our other out of date documents signed off - it's a monumental task.

Internal audit result

My Jedi Master wants me to get all the outstanding documentation up to date and authorised by the end of Shutdown. /faints/

Gazumped again

My Jedi Master keeps having to put off his internal audit, because certain other parties *cough*Darth Chaos*cough* keep stealing his opening meeting time. I've talked about Darth Chaos being pointy headed before, and this has got to be yet another example. Mind you, Jedi Master is being terribly patient (or possibly just fatalistic) about the whole thing.

Perhaps if we camp out in the staff room for a week, we'll actually manage to have the opening meeting without losing out again.

Titles

This comes via my friend Magicke, from a former colleague who now works for the Therapeutic Goods Administration, our regulatory lords and masters: they shall now be referred to here as the Overlords of Regulative Darkness.

LOL!

Trending reports

The main problem with trending reports is that mistakes that happened earlier during the year have a nasty habit of impinging on the awareness of management, after having been safely buried. In this case, I was involved, at least on the periphery. It was a change in packaging, and, IMHO, was very badly handled.

The Change Control forms were not produced until part way through the process, when they should have appeared at the very beginning.

People were not informed until right at the end (often by Yours Truly), when they should have been notified at the very beginning of the impending change by upper management, and kept in the loop of the progress of the whole project.

And, some time after it was all over, Darth Chaos confessed to me that she had had her wrist slapped by Mr Big over the ultimate cost of the whole affair. Which is why I am reluctant to mention the whole thing in this trending report, even though I should, because it was the cause of a non-conformance in a batch record.

The hell with it. I'll bury it. I don't want to go through the whole business again...

Kicked upstairs

Since Mr Big got kicked upstairs during the Christmas break, he's come to realise that he's got a much, much bigger toybox to play in. So to speak. Previous editions of The Grand Plan involved the company being split in two because we didn't have space in our current location. Then Our Lord And Master, in the USA, decided that the company should purchase land to build a facility on. There was one small problem with this plan - there is no industrial land available for purchase anywhere in our current location. Oh, well. Back to the drawing board.

So now, we're up to Plan D. Just to recap, Plan A involved upgrading the current facility. Plan B involved renting a place in our industrial area and upgrading that. Plan C involved actually purchasing land. Plan D involves upgrading our current location as in Plan A, but also building an entirely separate facility in either Sydney or Melbourne.

Personally, I would love Mr Big to build a facility in Melbourne. I don't like Sydney much, and the parent company has a presence there already. I love the idea of moving to Melbourne (I haven't previously because I also like living in Canberra too much to go to the bother of changing houses, jobs, and locations.). My family live in Victoria, and I'd actually be able to visit them occasionally if I was in Victoria as well. Plus certain other members of the company have reacted to the idea of Melbourne with enthusiasm. Anarchist Prime's permanent home is in Melbourne. Taldals' family live in Bendigo. Magicke simply wants to move to Melbourne and thinks she can talk her partner into it. Goodness knows what everybody else thinks of the idea. I love it.

Note to self

When somebody gives you a contact for some reason, even when it's somebody else's responsibility to sort things out, keep it. You never know when you're going to need it again.

Why? Well, it turns out that we aren't the only company that has physical artwork, and no electronic files thereof. It's just that we, for some reason, get to sort out this other company's artwork, due to a contract we have with them.

There. I think that's vague enough to get the idea across without giving pertinent details.

Sigh.

Phone Tag

There always seems to be someone around who does this - asks you to contact them ASAP, and then makes another phone call, so that when you do call them back, you can't get them and wind up leaving another message.

Once in a while is one thing - but I've got a contact who shall now be referred to as the Phone Tagger. This is the second time he's done this to me.

Grump.