Audit build up

We're in the grip of an audit right now. We've been building up to it for weeks now, and the Big Day has finally arrived. Thank god. The stress levels have been ridiculously high, and the battle between Production and Quality over where exactly everybody's attention should be focussed (Quality folk keep saying 'audit is everything!' Production have been patiently reminding them, every time somebody comes out with it, that we still have to manufacture. As the Document Control person, I've been quietly siding with Production on that issue. Not that I'd ever admit as much to Mistress Mouth, the Leprechaun, or Anarchist Prime (not that he has been an offender - he's been away and has managed to come down with a bad case of food poisoning, just in time for the audit. To be honest, I'm rather pleased about that.).

It's been interesting to see everybody's reactions when they are under stress. Mistress Mouth becomes uncharacteristically quiet and ever so slightly tragic. The Leprechaun starts fussing over things. The Grand Visier, who is currently heavily pregnant, is, at least on the surface, surprisingly relaxed. Although it may simply be that her pregnancy has sapped so much of her energy that she can't really summon up the strength to have a really good stress attack over anything. Anarchist Prime, of course, turns into an autocratic bastard.

Me? I get loud, cranky, and uncooperative. Since I'm also expected to be nice to people, I've been relaxing as much as possible.

The Leprechaun has been the greatest irritation. He's been running around trying to get the place tidied up (a somewhat futile task, to be honest), organising working bees and overtime and trying to get everybody (including me) to come in on the weekend to help tidy up because Production can't do it all. Personally, I chose to come down with a stress attack (yes, it was a conscious decision, although if I'm being more diplomatic about it I'd say that I was looking after my own physical and mental health, which is actually true) and got loud, cranky and uncooperative at him. (I don't suffer stress in silence.)

But this brings me to my main point - tidying up. I'm a naturally messy person, especially when I've got more stuff than places to put things. As such, my mess tolerance level is set pretty high. I tend to think that real friends will ignore mess, too.

Unfortunately, this doesn't help when preparing for an audit. I've learned to keep quiet about other peoples' messes in work-related situations. A tidy workplace makes a much better impression with auditors than a messy workplace.

It's a good idea, therefore, to get the person with the lowest mess tolerance level to walk through the place and point out the messy parts when you're preparing to make a good impression on somebody. And then, of course, tidy away anything that person points out. If it had been left to me, I would have missed most of the mess.